Treatment Depression
Why Does Everyone Look So Sad?
How depression alters the way we see others.
Psychology Today
By: Jennifer Gerlarch, LCSW
WHEN I MEET PEOPLE WHO ARE EXPERIENCING DEPRES-sion, I hear their stories of pain, anger, and suffering. The world can certainly be a harsh place. But does this suffering affect the way depressed people read others?
When we are depressed, we may be more likely to read others as also feeling low and negative, and when de-
pressed, we are less likely to pick up on positive cues in social interactions. On the one hand, this can lead to a stronger empathic response to those who are hurting. On the other hand, we might be less available to join others in their joy, or even know that other people are feeling joy.
What's more, depressive thinking can lead us to believe we are not well-liked. One study found that individuals with depression had a heightened sensitivity to social threats when compared to those without depression. This can lead to stronger feelings of fear and feeling more rejected and alone.
Researchers find that when people who are depressed are shown pictures of faces, brain regions associated with threat responses are disproportionately activated. This might translate into feeling a sense of hostility or judgment from others even when no ill will or harm is intended. For someone struggling with depression, particularly if mixed with social anxiety, this can trigger a spiral of negativity.
Interpersonal sensitivity, like having a bad reaction to criticism, is also associated with depression. This could create a cycle of depressive thinking and misreading social cues in a way that confirms negative beliefs about ourselves and how we think others see us.
Sensitization to the Suffering Of Others
A research study used a test called
Reading the Mind in the Eyes, which shows participants snapshots of faces and asks them to guess the emotion the people in the photos are feeling. In the study, individuals with depression read negative faces more accurately than those without the condition. These individuals also, when looking at the snapshots, over-selected negative emotions and under-selected positive ones.
Fighting Depression
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Because depressed people may seem more attuned to the hurt others feel, perhaps they are more empathic and more compassionate. In my clinical experience, some individuals who are depressed appear to feel heightened compassion for others. While the emotional response of compassion may be hard to measure, it can be defined as a mix of responses—acknowledging the suffering of others as well as wanting to help lift that suffering. This can lead to compassionate action, such as taking steps to show up for others—offering a person a supportive ear when they are feeling down constitutes such a compassionate act.
If you experience depression, it is important to bear in mind how this may color your interactions. You can more readily acknowledge the suffering of others, which can then translate into compassionate action. Note that taking action on behalf of others may help boost your own mood. You can also take the time to pause and recognize that your depression may be causing you to feel that the responses of others are negative-when these responses are not negative at all. Pausing and looking could help mitigate the effects of your distorted thinking.
If your depression makes you struggle significantly with social inter-action, psychotherapy can help. Certain treatments, such as mentalization-based therapy and interpersonal therapy, focus on depression's effects on relationships. Also, cognitive behavioral therapy and acceptance commitment therapy can assist you with the thought spirals that sometimes accompany de-pression; these approaches and others may well give you the clarity to move out of depression and toward your valued goals.
Jennifer Gerlach, LCSW, is a psychotherapist based in Southern Illinois who specializes in psychosis, mood dis-orders, and young adult mental health.
Getting Through
A Depressive Episode
Here are strategies to help manage your depression.
1. It Will Not Always Be This Way.
Most depressive episodes are temporary, and even within long-term depression, there are usually moments of happiness. It may help to review pictures from the past when you have felt better. When you are healthy, write a note of encouragement to yourself, one you can read when you might feel low again.
2. Seek Meaning.
In his book Man's Search for Mean-ing, psychiatrist Victor Frankl writes of his time in a concentration camp:
"The one thing you can't take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me." Depression is an oppressive force. Looking for opportunities to live meaningfully can help.
3. Enjoy the Little Things.
A cup of coffee. Watching the squirrels play in the yard. A hug from your partner. Depression can place a cloud over your sense of joy, yet you may find that you can enjoy small things. Latch onto these. Be present with them.
4. All You Have to Deal With Is Today.
Depression can give you a distorted view of all the worst future possibili-ties. The only thing you have to tackle is right now. The mantra "All I have to get through is today" can guide you through the darkest moments.
5. Don't Isolate Yourself.
Depression thrives in isolation. It's easy to turn off your phone and hiber-nate. Don't. Act in opposition to the urge to hide, and surround yourself with supportive people.
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